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Oh hello. I am Christina. I'm 26. My favorite things are: writing love on my arms, watching movies, laughing, baking brownies, mac 'n' cheese, taking road trips, Disney, writing, playing Guitar Hero and DDR, milk and cookies, smiling, Audrey Hepburn movies, singing Beatles songs, cheering for the Dallas Cowboys, playing board and card games, reading books, watching General Hospital, dancing, and, most importantly, spending time with my friends.

Quote of the Moment:
“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.” - Audrey Hepburn

Mood: i'm good.
Music: pretending.




Sunday, March 7, 2010
avoidance.

That's all he seems to know how to do when I try to talk to him. I sometimes wonder if maybe I'm not asking the right questions. If maybe I'm not truly laying it all on the line.

I remember the way things used to be a year ago, a few months ago... Things were so great. They were nearly perfect. I don't know what happened.

He says nothing has changed between us, but it's so obvious that it has. He used to text me all day and night. He used to hang out with me all the time. He used to miss me when I'd go to visit family for a weekend or even a day. He used to initiate things. He used to be the person I wanted to talk to about everything. Anything that was going on at work, with family, with friends - he was the one I talked to. He was the only one that I really and truly wanted to talk to. We had fun. We were happy. It wasn't serious and I thought we were seeing where things would go. And then it all fell apart. And I'm left not knowing what changed. He doesn't text. He doesn't respond to my texts. We hang out maybe once a week but I always initiate it. He never says he misses me any more. We argue all the time when we're around each other. I don't get it. Nothing had to change. When I try to talk to him he says that nothing has changed and that he's only being more distant because he's been going to the gym each night and he's exhausted and he wants to go to bed early and blah blah blah BS. Something happened. You don't go from acting like you adore someone; like you want to be around them all the time; like you miss them whenever they're not around -- to -- being someone who acts like he doesn't give a damn overnight without something causing it. Something happened. I deserve to know what happened but I know I'm not ever going to get that with him.

I know that I need to let him go and move on with my life. But I wasn't able to let him go a year ago when I started dating someone else. How can I expect to let him go now?

This hurts so much.